Feeling so alone.
My dad is dying. He was given 3-4 months. He just had a seizure and was taken to hospital in an ambulance. How do I deal with that?
Should I go or should I stay now?
Not sure my heart is in it, but the connection will always be there. He gave me the greatest gift, so how can I let him go?
Love it when people let you know they think you won’t be able to do something when you have never even tried it. No wonder I always get told I need more confidence. My parents always do everything for me – I know it is because they never think I will be able to. Guess that means I think that way too.
Don’t know what I want. It is so hard. My head knows, but everything else is confused.
Today it was hot. Zeke wore shorts and a t-shirt. He looked so grown up as he yelled his way around Northlands – like a proper little boy. I have been working night shift on NICU for the past 4 nights (zzzzz) and giving those wee dots cuddles reminded me of my wee premie bubba. I miss that bubba so much, and I know I will miss this funny, loud, amazing wee man too… but I can’t wait to see who he becomes.
but, you know, actually sick… who does this photo think it is kidding?
I have placement on NICU tonight, so I hope I only feel sick, but I’m not and I am feeling awesome by lunchtime.